What is life without risk♡
Okay, let me just say, like every other person, I would tell myself I would never get cheated on. That I would be smarter and realize what is happening around me. WRONG. I mean, to understand my story you sort of have to know me. I was such an insecure person but never let anyone know that. I presented myself as being a strong independent woman. Then I got a boyfriend. His name was Adam. I was surprised someone would be interested in me because, well, lets just say I was not a barbie look alike. Now this guy I really liked. He was honest, he cared, he was sweet, but the problem was me. I did not see the worth of myself so I took it out on him. I was mean, I cursed at him, I was everything a girlfriend should be ashamed of. He would be so sweet and I would return that with sarcasm and basically bitchiness. And for that, to this day, I am so sorry. I am ashamed of that person. Of course he broke up with me. Nothing else to do. I do not blame him for that. So then I went on and was his friend for a bit. But it did not work out that well because this guy spread rumours that I had been talking shit about my ex Adam. Which was not exactly what had happened. He would tell me how my ex would talk poorly about me, so as naive as I was, I responded to that. I never meant to hurt this guy. He was really nice. Well, when I dated him at least. After that we just never spoke again. I began talking to his friend, just as we had before Adam had broken up with me. But things started getting different. I do not know if I was rebounding but it was nice to be told nice things. I just went with my feelings and took the chance to ask him out. His name was Andres. Both starting with A’s. I know. Weird. But whatevers. So he had told me no, which was really shocking because we would call each other babe and stuff. Say things to each other. Say we loved each other. But well it did not work out. Then ten minutes later he asked my best friend out. How dumb. So I kind of just did not talk to him the rest of the year. Smart thing for me to do. But my crave for love just took me back. He began talking to me again. He asked me out for four days but I said no. I was still hurt by everything and just did not want to get into that. Well I caved and we ended up dating. I told myself I would be different this time than I had with my last boyfriend. I was going to be sweet and show him the care I had. We ended up dating from July 7, 2008 to August 8, 2011. Cutest moments ever. He was my first everything. Then we broke up. I was devastated. I was hurt. He just stopped caring out of no where. And i should have seen it coming since he was acting real shady. He was talking to more girls. Hiding his phone. Just being weird. I started suspecting things. Then he would be such a little bitch when it came to seeing me or hanging out. I was like really? 3 years and your acting like this. Then senior year came and I was not going to let someone hold me back. Then he started crying senior paint day, saying he thinks he made a mistake by breaking up. I was like. okay. So we started talking, but did not end up getting together until January 2012. I only did the things I did because I thought we were going to get together sooner than that but it just would not happen and I did not know why. I thought really. Why is it taking so long. Soon I figured out why. My jealousy sort of found the truth. I broke up with him on our Grad Nightm May 28, 2012, because I felt something was different and he lied to me about not talking to some girl I didnt trust. It was like. If you did not want to stop talking to her for me, then do you really care? cause if you did it would not be such a big deal. Well that hour ride it took to get to Disneyland, he hoped off the bus with her, holding her hand and kissing her. I thought okay. You showed your true colors. Now let me show you mine. I just did me and had fun with my friend as much as I could. Of course he came begging. Asking everyone and their momma where I was at. I thought okay. Leave me alone. But that love I thought we had and that I just wanted so badly made me give him another chance, but I was going to be smarter. Then the mistress calls me and says they still hang out and have sex. La de da. The whole shabanngg.She then said she wants to hear what he has to say about her, and I thought no, I need to hear what he says about me. She calls and asks if he has talked to me, his response, “WHAT THE FUCK. NO I HAVE NOT. WHO IS TELLING YOU THIS BULLSHIT.” I sat there listening. My hands shaking from anger. But all I could do was laugh because he did not know I was listening to the call. I responded , “FUCK YOU ANDRES. FUCK YOUR LIVES. YOU DESERVE TO ROT IN HELL, ITS FUCKING OVER, DO NOT TRY TO TALK TO ME AT ALL.” silence on the other end. and then he clicks. Days later was graduation. he tried and tried to get me back and hear him out but I knew there was nothing to hear. It was just his attempt to hold me back and I just did not need that. I told him to have fun and the best in life. I did not hold anything against him because I knew I was going to be okay without him. It was my graduation party, he came and dropped off two dozen flowers. I did not know he was there but I just received the message from my dad. Apparently he asked to see me and my dad said , ” i do not think she wants to see you.” TRU. I did not need to hear what I had heard a thousand times before. I just wanted to leave the past behind. Once I started college he tried again. And all i could think was really? You are trying this hard to get me back but you never tried this hard when we were together. I know he just wanted me because he did not want me with anyone else. So I told him no hard feelings but what happened to us was in the past and that is where we were going to stay. I ended it that way. As much as it was hard to leave the fantasy of love behind. It was to let me grow. To show that I did not need to have this fake love anymore. All I needed was to see my self worth. To see that I am smart. To see that as many scars there are on my face, they each make me that much more beautiful. I needed to see me. Izabella Munoz. A simple girl born in Pomona. A girl who is loved by many. A girl who does not know where she is going, but knows someday she will get there. I needed to show me.
#mystory #cheatedOn #GrewUp #WasTimeIFoundMe #Love
Go to college they said. It will be the best time of your life they said. It is not that bad they said. Yeah, I do not agree with that. I mean there definitely are a lot of positives with college. I mean you meet some people you like, you go out, have a good time, but then comes class. There are those classes where, like me, you just blank out because they are completely pointless. No one cares. You pay to sit and be on social networks. I mean, I guess I can not complain, it is definitely better than going out and having to do a lot of actual hard work. I mean come on English, what is this book going to do for me in life? The positives of this school is my CHFY Connect class in which this quarter, i am watching horror movies
